200 breastroke was a failure.
no, i dont blame anyone or anything for it.
yes, i'm sick with this lousy throat infection.
yes, i was in cheerleading and maybe i didnt train that well.
yes, i'm injured; this knee and my back.
but no, it wasn't that that made me swim slow.

yes, i'm a freaking crybaby.
but i can't keep those tears in forever.
it would kill me to try.

i've pondered on why i screwed up today.
i just can't seem to figure.
maybe the fact that i was pacing with the girl next to me, who put a seed time of 2 mins something, and i thought i was fast enough.
maybe the fact that i'm just not cut out to be a swimmer.
but whatever it is, after this, i'm going to do well in every other competition.
starting with the one in phuket.
no more excuses.

i have to start improving.
now.
im just gonna pray really hard so that god tells me what to do.

and what made the day even worse was the fact that some monkey spilt milo with oats into my bag.
it was all covered in milo and oats.
as if the day had not started off badly already.
my phone, ipod all soaked in brown stuff.
it took so freaking long to dry everything out.
thank god my phone works.
my ipod is on the verge of death.
its not waking up.
i was nearly in tears.

well,
i know i keep saying this but i never do it.
i will study well. swim well. dance well. bear responsibilities well.

a bit too late for a new year resolution, but its never too late for anything.


on final note,
farah,
good luck in the finals!
please dont waste this opportunity that everyone has been waiting for.
i wanted to make the finals so badly but i obviously didnt.

[edit]

loved her reaction to the blog post. hahaha.
[/edit]


stepping up to the block.

there goes my chances of staying in cempaka.
like *poof*